At the end of the event, a woman next to me asked a friend beside me what he learned. He thoughtfully replied, “Well, I didn’t learn anything new to be honest, but I enjoyed the event.”

When Julien Smith asked me the same question, my answer was unfortunately the same. I’ve never been one to blow smoke up, so I answered honestly. He laughed and said, “Well, just tell us you did!” And that’s kind of the underlying message I got out of the evening. Don’t keep it real – Keep it happy!

Use your friends
Now, I’m looking forward to reading the book – I just got it, so these observations are based solely on the discussion event. Much of their advice is sound common sense, good manners type of stuff, all of it applied to social media. It’s the type of stuff your parents probably (hopefully) tried to instill at a young age.

Their perspective on how social media dialog should occur was interesting, but it’s largely at odds with how I approach life and business.

Their overwhelming message during the talk was that we should be using our friends as a way to gain influence and make a lot of money.

I tend to think of my friends as people with whom I can enjoy life, rely on for help and advice, and share the good times and occasionally the bad, and I hope I can do the same for them. I do not think of my friends as my next meal ticket, or as people I should ‘use’ for anything. If I did, I would expect them to drop me like a rock because good friends are not commodities to be squeezed for every last drop of social influence.

But that’s me. Chris Brogan and Julien Smith see it differently (and you might too. The times they are a changin’).

Never utter negativity
Their other big message was that we should always keep a completely positive dialog, never disagreeing online with anyone. I see that as dangerous.

Positive dialog is a good thing. Keeping positive in your marketing communications is always smart. That said, honesty, peppered with a healthy dose of tact, is always the best policy.

If everyone always agreed, no one would ever learn anything. We would all become, well, dumb. We wouldn’t have intelligent conversations. We might even still believe in our heart of hearts that the world is flat. There is a great benefit for everyone in disagreeing and sometimes risking being seen as having a negative viewpoint. It’s generally during point/counterpoint discussions that people learn the most. Without the counterpoints, there would rarely be discussions of importance that advanced the social dialog.

I agree with the idea of always keeping the dialog positive, however, sometimes in the course of reaching the most positive outcomes, it is necessary to examine and experience the negative parts. When we learn in these types of discussions, we tend to be pretty darn happy.

Go see Chris Brogan and Julien Smith
You have to like these guys. They’re personable, natural speakers, and they will make you laugh. In fact, that was one of their messages – If you can make people laugh, that’s often more important than having any useful skills to bring to the table, and will often win you the business. I can’t really argue with that. I’ve often been hired more for rapport than skills, but the fact that I bring mad skills, 25 years of experience, and an impressive portfolio to the table is what gets me in the door in the first place, probably about 98.76% of the time.

All in all, I found myself unable to relate to the primary concepts presented at the event, while I sat in a room full of people who largely nodded along agreeably. In some ways, the event was a disturbing experience, with messages reminiscent of George Orwell’s 1984 and George Lucas’ THX 1138, yet with the thought-provoking nature of the event, I couldn’t help but enjoy myself.

An attorney sitting in the back expressed the frustration I hear from so many people trying to get involved with social media. He’s a successful attorney who undoubtedly expresses himself quite well in court, but at this event he was utterly flummoxed. He enthusiastically described his frustration at not knowing how to utilize social media for an undefined greater purpose in life. Social media, it seems, ought to be something we can easily grasp, become an expert in, and use to become a superstar in other ways. And that’s what many people don’t get about social media. It’s not a pot of gold, unless you’re ready to jettison your moral code. But that’s another post. What happened at the event for this gentleman? Someone in the audience knew how to help him. People meeting face-to-face, making real, meaningful connections. That’s real power.

If you’re really lost in the social media game, our hosts suggested that you create fake profiles and experiment. Learn the ropes without damaging your reputation.

How should Andy Rooney change?
You may have heard of the well-respected television personality named Andy Rooney, a regular on CBS’ venerable news program, 60-Minutes. He is a journalist who made a name for himself by calling out individuals, companies and organizations who are doing things patently wrong, particularly in cases where their errors are not in the best interests of the greater population. Sometimes his musings are small things that just don’t seem to make any sense. People love the guy because he tells it like it is. He is authentic and real. I have always admired him. His viewpoints, which in today’s dialog are seen as negative in nature, bring about enormously positive change. It’s powerful stuff.

I asked Chris Brogan and Julien Smith how they would recommend that Andy Rooney change his dialog to be compatible with Twitter and Facebook (where anything that could be viewed as negativity is frowned upon at best). They couldn’t or wouldn’t answer the question – I’m unsure which. I asked twice. They deflected both times. I think perhaps the answer is that some people are not compatible with social media, much in the same vein as some people are incompatible with Tupperware or Amway. Some people can benefit from social media, while for others, it’s just not a fit.

No, really, go!
These guys wholeheartedly believe what they are preaching. If you go to their event, you may well walk away believing as well. It may help you get over some of your long-held beliefs about the nature of relationships, and that will make you more compatible with social media tools.

If Chris Brogan and Julien Smith visit your town, I highly recommend their event. It was thought-provoking, just as I imagine their book will be. You can’t ask for more than that, especially in today’s never say negative online dialog.

Social media is currently run like a massive, oppressive corporation, the very thing most people engaging in it want to get away from. It’s still young though, so there is hope that it can develop into a more open medium. Stay in line, and you will be treated well seems to be the rule. You wouldn’t hide your true self in “real” life, so be yourself in your social media interactions as well. Don’t be afraid to express your honest opinions, even if it means getting some flack. Individuality is what makes any communications medium great. Question social media, break some rules, leave the herd behind. Oh my. What ever could happen?? The reality is that people will appreciate your authenticity, and the places where you take part will be richer, better experiences for everyone.

Social media will be at its most valuable when the dialog is open and honest, when communication is sincere and challenging. Sure, tact has its place, but so does speaking up.

#1 social media rule to break: Always be positive on social media sites.
Why? Tearing things down is how we learn how to build them back up better than before. ‘Always be positive.’ It sounds like a mantra from ’1984,’ destined to numb the unsuspecting minds of the masses. I’m not saying be an ornery curmudgeon, but boldly, tactfully stating your dissenting opinion is absolutely fine, and really, should be encouraged. 

If the goal of a social media site was to build a community of me too’s and followers, then always staying positive would be a great way to go. Thing is, strong communities are not built by followers. They are built by leaders and passionate people. Leaders are not afraid to speak up, and you shouldn’t be afraid either.

When phrased right, non-attacking negativity can be incredibly productive for everyone. It’s a great way to keep the dialog honest and open. Great communication is one of the keys to success. 

When you hear a false claim, or worse, an outright lie, do you let it go or challenge it? I bought a WordPress theme last year that was marketed with false advertising. When a well-known social media consultant tweeted about his blog post promoting that theme, I mentioned in reply that the theme’s developer was non-responsive to my requests to fix his theme to align with his advertising. The consultant did a gentle social media “time-out” by asking me to reply directly to his email instead of on Twitter. Another prominent social media guy had already tweeted an empathetic reply.

My tweet had apparently diminished the value of the consultant’s tweet by speaking negatively about the product. It’s fascinating that it was perfectly alright in the social media world to wax poetic about the greatness of this falsely-advertised theme, but it was not ok to point out it’s shortcomings. If social media rules continue in that vein, social media will quickly receive the same type of suspicion and contempt reached by traditional advertising mediums due to lack of honesty and authenticity.

It’s healthy to challenge the status quo. It’s how we learn and progress.

#2 social media rule to break: Get involved. 
Again, why? Before you get involved in social media, always, always, always do two things. 1) Ask yourself why you are getting involved, and 2) Set up a strategic plan with time constraints which integrates with your business plan. If you discover that social media doesn’t fit comfortably and purposefully into your plan, leave it out, and spend your time doing the things that make an actual impact on your business.

Not too long ago, it was believed that every business needed to blog, but that has been well-proven to be erroneous thinking. Some people and businesses are simply not made for blogging, and that’s ok because there are plenty of other ways to make your voice heard.

#3 social media rule to break: Make social media a priority. 
One more time, why? Make your significant other a priority. Make your kids a priority. Make your marketing, time-management or self-discipline a priority. Haven’t Twittered yet today? So what? When you have something important to say, Twitter away. The rest of the time, do the things that keep your business well-oiled, healthy, and moving forward.

Rules are made to be broken, especially when they promise to force a good communication medium to repeat the failures of its predecessors. Social media rocks, but some of it’s rules just plain suck. It’s high time to rise up and liberally break the rules that make no sense. Breaking rules is good for individuals, business, and community alike.

I prefer to seek solutions. Advertising is a great solution that works better than most other mediums. If you consider that nearly every communication is either advertising or marketing, it’s pretty easy to see which ones are the most effective in terms of improving sales or reaching an organization’s goals.

Advertising mediums include websites, microsites, blogs, videos, Twitter, print ads, direct mail, email, and a host of other methods. Is social media advertising? You bet it is. In the coming days, I’ll explore why all of these methods are considered advertising, as well as examining which methods work the best for increasing sales in the shortest time possible.

In the mean time, try thinking about advertising like you never have before. Toss out the idea that advertising is a waste of money, because that’s simply flawed thinking. Advertising works exceptionally well when it’s done right. And it isn’t too hard to get it right. The problem is most companies just do it wrong.

I strongly suspect that conversion measurement will become a big part of social media, but we are not yet there. I posed this question on twitter, on which I have several well-known social media expert followers, and not one person responded. I asked, “Who can tell me how you are tracking social media to sales revenue?” twitter silence followed.

I had the following conversation with a friend recently:

“I feel like I have to add social media to some of my clients’ marketing plans,” I told him, “Yet I can’t quantify it. There is no way for me to say, ‘Social media can increase your sales by XX%’ because I honestly have never met anyone who made money with social media.”

My friend was quick to reply with, “I’ve made money with my blog.”

“Oh? How did you do that?” I asked.

“Well, I have advertising on my blog,” he said.

“So you made money with advertising. Social media was just a medium, much like a magazine.” I replied.

“The advertising was on the blog though.”

“Ok, but without the advertising, the blog would just be a blog. You wouldn’t have made any money. It’s just like a magazine. Without the ads, most magazines would lose money. The advertising sales pay for the production. Are you selling anything on your blog?”

“No. Maybe I should.”

“What would you sell?” I asked.

“Um, I don’t know. I don’t really want to sell stuff.”

There’s nothing wrong with making money from the ads on a blog, but that’s not the point here. Social media is a great addition to a marketing plan, but it’s not the cornerstone of it unless you make sales specifically from engaging in social media. Again, though, this is not the point. So what is the point? Companies have to justify their marketing efforts, and it’s currently very hard to do that when it comes to social media.

With nearly any other form of marketing, including websites, identity design, branding, advertising and direct mail, we can track response and resulting sales, or at the very least, increases in sales. I can objectively provide clients with realistic expectations for how their company might benefit from traditional branding and advertising efforts. With social media, I simply cannot do that.

On the one hand, I feel an obligation to help clients get involved with social media, to open up the dialog between the company and the customer, but on the other hand, it sends us back to the dark ages of advertising when nobody tracked results. When people start tracking their efforts in earnest, I’ll bet they will see some great numbers.

Social media is really something that should be handled by a different department entirely. Task editorial with it, or research, or better yet, sales people. Sales people have the most to gain from social media interaction. They are uniquely qualified to lend a unique, genuine personal voice to a corporate message in a way that can directly influence the sale at hand, and they are likely to get to know their customers much better than they ever could from focus group research, where responses are almost guaranteed to be totally off the mark. The trick for them will be in understanding that they cannot sound at all like they are selling while engaging in social media. That’s a tough sell to a good salesperson! Teach the sales team about the company’s brand, and once they have a deep understanding of it, give each sales person a social media plan to be integrated into their overall sales regimen. Regular meetings betwixt sales and marketing would help too. Then we could measure the results of their efforts.

How are you measuring your investment of time in social media?