Hi, I'm How did we get here? The gay marriage vote
How did we get to a point of a gay marriage vote? How did we get to a point in society when the very thoughts, rights, and inborn feeling of human beings in our country were actually up for vote? This seems, at the very least, antediluvian in nature, if not draconian.
When one community’s beliefs are shunned or deemed improper, splinters occur. That’s how underground sex clubs, public restroom hookups, and rampant prejudice happened here. The road back to civilization and equality is a long one, as plainly evidenced by the African-American plight, which has spanned over a century.
When one splinter occurs, others follow. The more splinters our society spurs on, the less coherent and globally relevant our collective efforts become. What happened to ‘together we stand’? It’s not like standing next to a gay person or couple will threaten my well-being as a straight guy. We’re all human.
By the way, large splinters sometimes rise to overthrow their oppressors.
The fact that there is now a vote on the legality of gay marriage is an insult to humanity. Baby steps? Sure, ok, but come on! I think we can all agree on the idea that everybody needs somebody.
I’m sorry you feel that way
‘I’m sorry you feel that way,’ needs to be stricken from the customer service bible.
It’s not about how I feel, and it’s not about how you feel. Customer service is about grasping a golden opportunity to help your customer in a way few people can. It’s your customer giving you an opportunity to make them happy by forging a unique connection.
If you decide to lose their business, ‘I’m sorry you feel that way,’ is the wimpy, unsatisfying way to tell people you don’t want their business. Customer service is better equipped to satisfy when they have a short list of companies or products to refer unsatisfied people to. ‘I’m sorry you feel that way’ just upsets people. It’s all about the service rep, not the customer. ‘Here’s another company who may be able to help you,’ is all about satisfying the customer. It’s positive, helpful, and straightforward.
Training teaches customer service representatives to say ‘I’m sorry you feel that way’ to put the onus for the solution back on the person calling them for help. When the customer cannot respond, the rep ends the call. It’s indirect, rude, serves no practical purpose (other than manifesting anger and wasting time), and is totally unnecessary.
Customer service could take a tip from restauranteurs, who go out of their way, making accommodations however they can in pursuit of one sole result: customer satisfaction.
Why most advertising fails
When you’ve been in advertising as long as I have, you learn that there is really only one reason why most advertising fails, and it’s called fear. How fear manifests with regard to advertising presents in an almost endless list of methods, some of them justified, most not.
Advertising limited by fear bores people, possibly the most dangerous result in all marketing.
There are very few things a company could say in an advertisement that would offend those loyal to the brand so greatly that they will go away. Boring them, on the other hand, can result in customers jumping ship to someone more exciting. Being boring always yields the same result: bad advertising. Boring ads usually result from fear of risk.
Some companies kill their own advertising efforts by asphyxiating creative or completely forgoing real strategy. Others buy media “deals” which waste budgets on mediums that will never pan out. Some companies insist on writing their own headlines and text, resulting in ads that they can connect with but no one else can. Still others go for “wow factor,” forgoing (or forgetting) to make real, meaningful connections. It’s easier to undermine advertising efforts with fear-rooted action than to hold high ambitions for success.
When I hear a client say, ‘advertising doesn’t work,’ what they really mean is that their past advertising hasn’t worked. They rarely can show measured results, which means they often base advertising effectiveness on feeling rather than any sort of hard data. Sometimes they have data, but don’t understand what it means. In order for data to have any intrinsic value, the advertising effort must have meaningful, stated goals prior to the creation of the campaign. Without goals, success is virtually impossible. Not determining or stating goals up front is a fearful approach.
Among initial advertising goals, I’ve often heard little more than, “more sales.”
“More” is a hard goal to reach because it could mean literally anything, and does little to inspire people in marketing, creative or sales.
Setting goals is risky because someone has to raise their hand, stick their neck out, and take responsibility. If the company dynamic says sticking your neck out ends in it being chopped off should the effort fail, fear rules and no does what it takes to realize effective advertising efforts.
I suggest a different approach.
How about the people who stick their necks out get rewarded regardless of success? This may inspire a more constructive dialog, such as, ‘What a great failure that was! What did we learn? What’s next?’
Show me any other part of life where every single effort results in success. I think you will find that no arena offers guaranteed known success.
Activities as simple as walking present risk. You could trip and fall or step in a hole, but you don’t stop walking. You need to get where you are going, and walking forward is the most sure way to get there.
Similarly, an advertising effort might fail, but you keep taking risks and keep advertising because it’s the most sure way to succeed.
There is no new thing under the sun, except that there is
“There is no new thing under the sun.” – Solomon
Two great reasons this phrase is so powerful: 1) it wields the power to inspire, and 2) it suggests all humans are equal.
The quote embodies balance. It incenses people if a larger perspective is not present, but compliments if one is. It purports that given the same input parameters of life, all thoughts will revolve around the same ideas. Of course, not all thoughts will, and anyone inspired to rebel against the phrase may possess the ire to prove it incorrect (or at least give it a hard-working try) and inspire others.
It also speaks to our equality as human beings and our realistic relationship with the earth. We are the earth, or rather part of its living matter, and we will inherently be so as long as the earth lives. Any other significance in our lives, such as hierarchy, wealth, sisterhood, place, and so on is based on ideas we make up through thoughts.
I often wonder how elements not under the sun, such as those inside or above it, might effect those open to such an idea. It seems unlikely that physical matter both inside and outside the sun reside ‘under the sun’.
Mass transit, bicycles and obesity – how about some direct dialog?
As I enjoyed an early morning ski in my neighborhood a week ago, I tried to take a few moments to enjoy the silence of the night. Except I found that 4:00 a.m. Seattle is no longer silent. The noise pollution from I-5 is so bad that it can be likened to international airport noise—even at the furthest points on the map away from the freeway. It’s a constant, loud hum, deafened only in daytime by the roar of closer vehicles. I also observed completely empty buses driving through snow in one of Seattle’s larger neighborhoods.
Our politicians talk of:
• More mass transit spending – which may not ease the amount of traffic, but instead only enable more traffic.
• More buses – which makes sense at main commuting times, but seem to just clog roadways (while empty) the rest of the time.
• Obesity – this comes up only when they’re talking about mass transit spending. (Gee, how about some public well-being?)
When they could be talking about:
• Public bicycle-share systems
• Subsidized bicycle and hiking boot programs
• Alignment of their special interests with transportation and (legitimate) fighting obesity goals
• Consumer health education
They say:
Mass transit helps fight obesity.
The idea being that people get exercise whilst walking to the bus or rail, which varies in degrees of legitimacy depending on how close people live. Interestingly, the further away from a stop an obese person lives, the less likely they are to make the trek, reducing the likelihood they will get that (limited) exercise. (Politicians never mention this.) So what they are really saying is mass transit helps prevent obesity, but does little to help people already suffering from obesity.
They mean:
Obesity helps justify spending on mass transit. Do politicians actually like obesity?
Raise your hand if you would like a little more direct dialog about obesity (or anything else) from politicians.
Raise your other hand if you are more direct in your marketing. Arms in the air, you are a champion.
Fear: how bad hair, habits and horrible has-beens happen
Fear is a convenient excuse, a procrastination technique, an avoidance tool. Fear is free, so it’s easy to wield it in the face of anything in life that imposes difficulty. A better method is to state your fears, then dispel them one by one until all that’s left is fearless action.
Take going gluten-free as an example. Can you guess the biggest fears people have about going gluten-free?
1) They won’t like the taste.
2) They won’t be able to eat out.
3) They don’t know how they will find gluten-free foods.
4) They will always be hungry.
These are all myths people tell themselves to avoid change. Funny thing about change is that it almost always has positive benefits. Not changing, on the other hand, or investing in fear, almost always has drawbacks. People invest in fear because it sounds easier and seems to cost less from an effort standpoint, when the reality is they are making life or business much harder.
Like all myths, the above fears about gluten-free eating can be dispelled in seconds flat:
1) They won’t like the taste.
Finding a taste they like may be an exciting adventure. Just like with glutinous foods, there are artisan gluten-free bakers and brewers to be found.
2) They won’t be able to eat out.
Restaurants have one primary goal: to make people happy. The first person who requests gluten-free food might be an inconvenience, but everyone after that presents an opportunity to please. Eating out will not be a problem.
3) They don’t know how they will find gluten-free foods.
Finding gluten-free foods is easy, presents opportunities for venturing outside of old routines, and promotes positive change. Reading labels is easy and takes only a few seconds.
4) They will always be hungry.
In point of fact, they are likely to be less hungry. You need less food when your diet contains no gluten. Gluten reduces the effectiveness of the digestive system, so eating gluten in effect manifests hunger. Eating gluten-free foods allows the digestive system to pull maximum nutrients from food, so you require less intake.
In spite of all these facts, people keep eating gluten because it’s easier to invest in fear. Marketers understand this and play to it on a daily basis. The results of investment in fear about going gluten-free include a steady decline in health, a bigger belly, asthma, digestive problems, discomfort, sleep apnea, and so on.
Do you invest in your fears? We all do. Investing in fear is free and easy. It requires almost no effort. It’s also boring. Doing things that scare you just a little bit is healthier because you are challenging yourself and those around you to learn and grow.
If you are marketing fear to yourself on a regular basis, you reinforce your own status quo. It’s how bad hair, habits and horrible has-beens happen. Doing the opposite is exciting, scary, and actually pretty awesome feeling. The price is change. The benefit is priceless.
On categories – People are people, human is human.
People are people, human is human. All the rest are just categories used to market ideas. Sometimes those ideas are valid, legitimately protective, promoting community and joy. Often though, categories are used as means to impose oppression and promote separation.
When we step into an automobile, we instantly wield a very heavy object approximately 50 times the size of ourselves, and we exert an influence on those around us. We can impose irregular actions on them. Call it defensive driving to put a spin on it. In a car, there’s an obvious physical reason why we influence the people around us, but in the space of humanity, of one person or family on earth, why would anyone have a need to influence fellow humans and neighbors in an oppressive manner? It’s a real noggin-scratcher.
Generally speaking, we don’t need to defensively live. There’s plenty of room for most ideas and for people to express themselves and live in those ideas without direct imposition.
Cheers to Kenneth Cole for promoting the strongest of human qualities—the ability to recognize and promote equality—in their marketing. Kenneth Cole ad for gay marriage.
How can you know what I want before you know what I know?
We live in a time of experts. Everyone is an expert, a guru, a leader, an authority. Few customer service departments practice active listening because they’re too busy asserting their authority. Have you ever encountered this? Customer service wants to exert their expertise and authority over you when you call in. They must tell you why you are calling before you can even tell them. If you object, their hand pops through the phone receiver to slap you silly and tell you how it is. Well, maybe not through the receiver, but you get the idea.
Customer service isn’t customer service when they aren’t listening. They are agitators. If I want to be agitated, I’ll jump in a washing machine.
What happened to the customer is always right? Or even, the customer knows what they want and need?
If everyone is an expert, and the experts aren’t listening, is any learning occurring? Isn’t that really the point of customer service? To listen, learn and help. I’d like to see every customer service department train their people in the concept of active listening.
One problem with learning about active listening is that in order to accept it, you have to know what it is. Which means you have to actively listen. You have to accept before you assert (even if you are an expert). It’s kind of like learning what the customer needs before telling them what want.
Humanity-based customer service is the new rule
Since customer service is a top-down equation, poor customer service experiences are clearly designed with pessimism in mind. Which is odd because that’s a person or a team of people working against human nature to manifest experiences they themselves do not want to encounter.
‘I’m just doing what they tell me,’ we hear customer service reps say. I frequently tell the pleasant ones, “You sound like a nice person. I hope you one day find an employer who will allow you to do a great job.” (Most reps actually tell me they appreciate hearing that, and the conversation always gets better afterward.)
If management isn’t designing humanity-based customer service processes, we need a revolt.
Customer service can be an overall positive experience which helps companies keep existing customers happy. In fact, that’s how it used to be, and for good reason. It’s always cheaper to keep your existing customers happy than to attract new ones. (It also helps people speak of you in a good tone.)
If your customer service team is treating people poorly, you lose revenue as you hemorrhage customers, and you have to spend more on marketing. If, on the other hand, your team is working with human nature in mind to make sure people have positive experiences, you keep customers happy and can budget your marketing more frugally (or grow more).
Somewhere along the way, someone who was treated poorly decided they didn’t like their customers, and they wanted new ones, no matter the cost. How this attitude caught on like wildfire is something of a mystery. Barnes & Noble comes to mind. When their stores were packed with book-buying public, they brought in creature comforts and chocolate because people buy those things when they are comfortable. Customers bought less of these items when BN changed to aggressive sales tactics that made people uncomfortable. They could have taken the hint, it seems.
The companies who buck the trend, like Zappos and CDBaby, stand out for it. Both of these stellar examples embrace human nature in everything they do, and their reputations (and profits) rock because of it.
Poor customer service is the rule that should never have gained prominence because it lacks a fundamental level of humanity, and can lead only to failure. It’s refreshing to see smart companies challenge it. Good customer service is good marketing and a business fundamental.
We are inherently a world of optimists
If you divided everyone in your life into two columns, optimists on the left and pessimists on the right, you would wind up with one full column and one empty column. Which is which?
The question of optimist or pessimist has an easy answer every time. Like many questions, the answer can go only one way if honesty is employed. Optimism represents life, and pessimism represents death. That’s reality, not a metaphor.
Like most life forms, we involuntarily fight for life. It’s in our nature. And it stays firmly planted there all the way up until the end of our lives here.
The idea of pessimism gets validation only when people are treated poorly, often in repeated fashion, until their spirit is broken. Even after a person’s spirit is broken, their inner optimism usually still grasps a glimmer of hope for something better such as escape, redemption or success.
The only possible honest answer to the question of optimist or pessimist is: optimist.
